At arm's length

I've started several blogs in the past few years only to 1-not ever do anything on them and 2-forget my passwords. So, here's hoping this time around is a little more productive.

I've been reading a blog http://audreycaroline.blogspot.com/ I've cried through most of her postings, but her most recent post has found me on my knees before the One who continues to reach His hand out to me time and time again. Like this woman, I believe in Him. I love Him, but I have kept Him at arm's length just in case He let's me down. When I read that part of her post, I literally gasped and began to cry. THAT IS ME!!! I have felt this uneasiness in my spirit for a while and haven't been able to put my finger on it, but that is totally it! I have had circumstances in my past where I felt like God could have intervened and He didn't and I was devasted. I like to be in control of my life and I was sure I could have managed things much better than God did. I give God the "big" things to handle while I take care of all the other things. Like I have to actually hand things over to God...how rediculous of me. Anyway, I don't want to have my own fears, pride, selfishness...anything...put any distance between God and me anymore. I'm reaching my arms up to God to let Him grab hold of me and pull me into His arms and let Him take care of me (I haven't done such a good job).